The Joys of Childfreedom

Hello, childfree peoples of the world! I'm CFJ, yet another young adult who has chosen to forgo the extremely dubious "rewards" of parenthood for a life less ordinary! Although the Childfree movement certainly seems to be gaining steam, actively choosing to not have kids is still a radical decision in a culture where adulthood is equated with marriage and breeding and children rule their families like little diaper-clad dictators.

For those of us who have set ourselves firmly on the less-traveled childfree path, it can, at times, be a hard row to hoe. Discrimination against adults without children is ubiquitous, in both overt and subtle forms. There's the constant harassment from well-meaning family members, friends and acquaintances ("So when are you having a baaaaybeee?"), the tax breaks we miss out on, the extra work that gets pawned off on us because parents have to take off to deal with the latest kid crisis, the terrors of other people's ill-mannered spawn in nearly every public arena nowadays, having our judgment and character questioned by everybody from doctors to talk show hosts...I could go on.

BUT! Before you start thinking that a childfree life is one long, Rodney Dangerfield-esque whine fest, let me just say that all those annoyances and injustices are nothing compared to the indignities and never ending toil of parenthood. Those things I mentioned above are SO worth putting up with in exchange for never having to deal with childrearing.

"But how can you possibly know about the toils of parenthood if you're not a parent? Huh? Answer that one, smartypants!"

You see, there's this nifty thing called "observation". And lemme tell ya, most childfree people have gotten very good at observing parents. You don't notice it (because you're too busy corralling your screaming brats), but we watch you constantly. We take note of the harried look in your eyes, the disastrous state of your home, the feverish pace at which you do everything. We patiently listen to your complaints about the lack of sleep, lack of privacy, lack of intimacy, lack of money, lack of free time, lack of spontaneity, etc. And mentally, we take notes. "Yep, another item to add to my list of reasons I don't want kids!", we think as you show us your ripped up $500 armchair that little Jimmy thought was filled with popcorn.

And after making all these observations, we come to the conclusion that having kids just isn't for us. Despite how much parents try to justify their stressful, hectic lives with, "But it's all worth it in the end!", or "But it's different when it's yours!" Frankly, we don't believe you.

Does this mean childfree people hate parents? Of course not (although we totally do hate bad parents). Does this mean we hate kids? Again, of course not. Many of us love kids -- they can be adorably cute, uninhibitedly imaginative and refreshingly zany. But you know what we love even more than kids? Getting to give kids back to their parents when they've stopped being cute and started being bratty little hellions. And don't try to tell us that not all kids are like that. They are -- yes, even yours. We've seen proof.

For most childfree people it's not about hate. It's about the costs of parenthood outweighing the benefits. Or, conversely, the benefits of a childfree lifestyle outweighing the benefits of parenthood.

And that is one of the most important things I'd like to get at in this blog: the joys of living childfree. Because despite all the flak we catch for our choice, a life without kids is overwhelmingly a life of peace, tranquility, beauty, and above all -- freedom! If that isn't something to be downright jubilant about, I don't know what is!